On the Outside Looking In

I have a confession to make. I used to be very critical of others. I would look at their life or situation and have all my ideas about what they "should" be doing or have done. My opinions made perfect sense to me. I kept it to myself most of the time, but I had my judgments just the same. Not an easy thing to admit into cyberspace!

I have to say that the past few years have been very humbling for me. My husband too.
We both needed the lesson, I think. As we have walked through our legal battle, there have been many critics. Many judging our motives. Many thinking us to be greedy. Many spreading lies about us making people form inaccurate opinions. Even people we thought were our friends have backed away, I guess because being associated with us is a little uncomfortable. I don't know, maybe they believe the lies. We have many people that outright hate us, simply because we didn't sit down and shut up. No one likes the person making waves. Even if it's to stand for what's right.

We've had to stand alone in the fight against a wrong that was done to our whole community. Oh, we had vocal supporters at first, but they disappeared quickly. No matter. We did what we had to do. Still, it kind of hurts when you know people have judged you based on very little information, most of it twisted. They're on the outside looking in. My husband was talking to a neighbor the other day, and he said he knew "all about" our situation. Oh, really? Had we told him any of it? Nope. Where did he get his "knowledge"? From the very ones we're challenging? Yeah, I'm sure your information is all correct, then. My husband didn't even bother discussing it because he knew there would be a huge leap to get him to the real truth. Yet you wonder, what kind of opinion had he formed?

We have felt the sting of coldness from those that used to be close to us. We can't tell exactly when or why things cooled, other than it seems to follow the "gossip" going around at any given time. We don't even know what the current gossip is, because we're not connected to that vine. We're connected to another Vine. The only one that matters. Still, even though we know people form opinions solely on what they see from their perspective, it hurts knowing they are judging us without any interest in the truth.

Jesus said: "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” (John 7:24, New King James Version)

We are not to judge on the basis of insufficient and incomplete information. Outward appearance is never all there is. You can never make a righteous judgment based only on what you "see." But, what does that second part mean, "judge with righteous judgment?"  There are times when judgment is appropriate. In fact, that's the purpose of bringing our complaint to court -- to allow a judge to render a righteous judgment based on all the facts presented. He didn't just look at us and render his judgment. No, he had to listen for two days to both sides give their account of the facts. He has volumes of documents to read. He has case law to interpret and apply where appropriate. He has to take into account the laws in place and determine where this situation fits.

So tell me, if the judge -- the only person who has the details -- has not yet revealed his judgment, how can a group of people with very limited, incomplete, and inaccurate information render a righteous judgment? They can't.

Every time I find myself tempted to judge someone's situation, my recent experience gives me pause to step back and remember. I know what it feels like to be looked on and judged by others that have no idea what they're basing their opinions on. They have not walked in my shoes, or been through the dark hours with me. They are not in my place to understand my decisions. So I have to remember that likewise, I am not in the shoes of those I'm tempted to judge. I don't know all the details that brought them to that place. I have no clue about the private details of the life they live. I have no right to stand in judgment of them when I can't see their heart.

"For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7, New King James Version)

The only things I have the right to judge, are those things that I can base on accurate and complete evidence. I can read a contract, code, law, and any other legal instrument and determine the proper action required by those instruments. If improper action has taken place, I have a right and a responsibility to bring them to a judge for correction. Codes are in place for a reason. One day, it could mean life or death. What if I stay quiet, say nothing, and a fire breaks out and kills someone because I was more interested in being popular than I was to fight for code-required firewalls? If that happened, would I be judged differently?

Standing against evil is never easy. Speaking out for what's right will always cost you something. It is an offering to the Lord. David once said I will not give my God an offering which cost me nothing. If we never feel the sting of rejection and judgment, we'll be less likely to show mercy to others standing up when we think they should sit down. When you know you are doing what God has directed you to do, it becomes easier to bear the hard stuff that goes with that. You know you are being tested and tried. You become strengthened knowing God is on your side and that He has placed His seal upon your heart. Overcoming wouldn't mean as much if it cost us nothing.

Then the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God with that which costs me nothing.”(2 Samuel 24:24, New King James Version)

Think carefully the next time you are tempted to judge a person or situation. Are you living what they're living? Do you have all the information? Who are you listening to for your "facts?" Stay close to the True Vine and cut yourself off from the "grapevine" where all the damage is done. You don't need that scoop -- it's a bunch of crap in disguise! ;)